Rollinstein's Monster
by KuraGonzalez
Summary: The one where Dean dies and Seth plays Frankenstein to resurrect him. He will soon learn that no mortal should meddle with life and death.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, another fic... But this one has been sitting on my hard drive for a year and I know myself. If I don't start posting it, I won't work on it anymore. And I really don't want to drop this project.

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'Rome asks if we'd like to fly home with him next week after the Smackdown tapings,' Seth mutters before yawning heartily, squinting his eyes at the blinding lights of the gas station. 'Says Jojo misses us. Did he tell her it was all fake and I am not actually the bad guy?'

Dean stops the car and unbuckles the seatbelt, searching in the glove box for his wallet. Of course Seth won't move to pay half the bill. He might not be the bad guy, but he's definitely Scrooge McDuck. That knucklehead better hand over some cash for the plane tickets or Dean will let his brother walk through the states from now on. He's not a taxi driver.

'No, she still believes you turned on us, which you did,' he points out, groaning when he realizes he threw his wallet on the backseat in a hurry earlier. It'll take years to find it. All cause Seth ran out of the arena, screaming _start the car_ as if the devil himself was chasing him. Dean can't even tell how much he's come to hate this game of hiding. But accepting Seth's apology – after letting him suffer for what he did, of course – meant the beginning of a double life and Dean has to admit, having his baby brother back, playing hide and seek with the Authority and the world still tops being alone.

'But you know Jojo, she got the biggest heart on earth, jus' like her dad. Never stopped loving you, so ya better stay in your prick role next week, but heaven help me, if you're not nice to her, I'm gonna choke you right in front of her.'

Seth rolls his eyes and moans, 'How am I supposed to do that? Why would I ever show up with you?' Really? Seth, the King of Liars, the _Man_ – as he calls himself so arrogantly –, the mastermind and Architect can't come up with another cheap-ass, fake story to tell a little kid that for some reason believes every word coming outta his mouth?

Dean shoves his brother to the side to awkwardly climb to the back instead of getting out of the car like a normal person would. 'Tell her I kidnapped you, blackmailed you, whatever. She'll forgive me for forcing you to see her,' he grumbles, letting out a triumphant _aha_ when he finds his money under a pile of dirty clothes and empty bottles. Fuck, he needs to clean this shit up as soon as possible. Carpooling is only funny till he gets left behind with all the junk to drive his puffed up boyfriend through the country.

'Fine, we could use our handcuffs, make it more believable,' Seth muses, opening Ro's message again to write back. 'Hey, don't forget to buy me something to eat? I'm starving. And if they have Kill Cliff, I'd like a can.'

Sure, Dean will just hop on the rollercoaster to get to his vault in Gringotts. God, sometimes Seth is so pretentious, it's horrible. Makes him doubt why he ever forgave that idiot in the first place. Oh right, feelings and all that. If they hadn't been screwing, Dean probably wouldn't've let him back in his life. Though, it was more than just fucking. He can try to deny it all he wants, he'd always beg on his knees to have Seth by his side. It's pathetic how much he's attached to the kid.

'Anything else, your Majesty?' Seth looks up and smiles – and God damn, all of Dean's anger just flies straight out of the window –, bending over to give him a quick kiss before he readjusts his hoodie in case someone they know pulls up at the gas station too. 'Actually, yes. Hurry up, I need to pee and I won't use the toilet here. Ew. And don't you dare tell me I should take one of those bottles.'

Dean sighs, though he can't stop grinning. 'I hate you too,' he mumbles, shaking his head to express both his annoyance and gratefulness that Seth allowed him to say that instead of the words he still chokes on. They would mean taking the next step and after all the shit they went through, Dean isn't ready yet to make it. He likes the way things are going now. Easy, comfortable, familiar.

'Don't forget some condoms,' Seth screams once he's thrown the door closed, waving at him like a kid that just entered the candy store and resumes to write their big brother while Dean refills the tank, eyes drooping shut the longer he stares at the numbers flashing by. It's been a rough day. A rough one and half years, to be honest.

Dean doesn't pay any attention to the five figures rushing past him, nor does he follow the happenings inside. All he does is bang on the rooftop to startle Seth and chuckle while checking how much money he has left and if it's enough to still pay for their room tonight. Looks like they need to find the cheapest motel out here.

He hears the _cha_ _ching_ of the cash register when he enters and immediately catches up on the weird silence in the room. It's only then that he looks up and stares into the barrel of a loaded gun. His last thought is a mix of _I better not be the only one about to get shot_ and _Seth won't ever get over this_ and then the weapon fires and his chest flares up.

After that, it's only unimaginable pain and fading lights, his little brother's face, waves of overwhelming panic, worry and love for Seth rushing through his weirdly numb body and a desperate voice trying to reach his ears.

And just like that, it's over.


	2. Chapter 2

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Celebrate it with Dean's death from Seth's point of view XD Oh, and if you fine any mistakes that's because I wanted to post this chapter today and I've read over this so many times today that I can't find any errors anymore. And I'm kinda sick of it by now too. Damn editing. Anyway, have a great day and get me some candy during trick or treat =D

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Condoms sound good. They have done it without in the past but ever since Seth turned his back on The Shield, Dean has been torturing him with all kinds of strict rules. Mostly to punish him for betraying them as a family and leaving him as a partner. Seth deserves every last bit of it, so he gladly accepts everything his friend throws at him if it helps Dean get some closure.

They both know that the other didn't get laid while they were separated but the big meanie demanded an HIV test anyway and until then, he would only touch Seth if they wore some protection. It's one of those restrictions Seth does not mind at all, to be completely honest. Sure, they have to get randomly checked for any illnesses as a part of their job, but he thinks getting tested is something couples should do and he's dying to experience all the normal stuff with Dean too.

Hence the _forget your carpooling fun and go on tiny road trips just with me_ he has begged his friend for. Since Roman always flies home to his daughter and wife and his big brothers could spend the past one and a half years together, Seth believes he's entitled to some alone time with Dean. Or, not entitled. More like, he whined and bitched until Dean agreed to traveling with him. Incognito, of course, since Seth is still part of the Authority and World Heavyweight Champion, about to start a long overdue feud with Roman for the title.

And thanks to his boyfriend tormenting Seth all the time, he decided to return the favor by acting like a spoiled brat, letting Dean pay for everything. Not emotionally. No, he hits him where it really hurts. His wallet.

Seth snickers while typing out a reply to Roman's invitation, telling his big brother that they will find a way to make it look like Seth got dragged to Pensacola against his will and that he is looking forward to see Joelle again. He misses her so much but he understands that Rome wanted to keep her out of this mess for as long as possible. He would have done the same.

The second he hits the send button, he hears it. A single gunshot.

His whole world comes to a screeching halt as his head whips around and he watches Dean sink to the ground inside the store, clutching at his chest confused and shell shocked while five hooded figures dash out of the store in a frenzy. There is some angry yelling and one of the guys screams bewildered, 'I– it was an accident. H-he just– I never– what was he even doin' there?'

Seth scrambles out of the car, falling on the hard asphalt due to him not being able to get his limbs under control, and staggers to the still open door to rush into the weirdly silent room. The cashier stands behind the counter, gaping at Dean on the floor, a puddle of red starting to encircle his brother.

'Stop being useless and call an ambulance,' he barks at the young, helpless looking man, surprised how in control his mind and mouth still are. 'And get me some towels, shirts, anything that can act as a tourniquet. We need to stop the bleeding. _Move, for God's sake_.'

He drops down to his knees, a sharp pain shooting through his legs thanks to the harsh impact and his trembling fingers try to assess the damage in his brother's chest. Judging by the blood rushing out of the gaping wound, it's bad. Really bad.

'I can fix this,' he mumbles over and over, hands applying pressure to the chest he's touched in awe so often. Dean grunts when Seth sneaks some fingers to his back to check if the bullet is still stuck in the flesh. There is no exit wound, which just fuels his fright for some reason. He is not quite sure if this is good or not; his medical knowledge isn't that profound.

Dean coughs up some blood and Seth can see that he is having serious trouble breathing. His lungs probably got pierced by the bullet. Okay, this is more than just _really bad_. It is unfixable. Hopefully the ambulance arrives in time because Seth has no clue what to do other than heavily lean on Dean's chest to somehow stop the blood from shooting out of the wound.

'You're going to be okay, this is just a scratch,' he grins, forcing himself to keep his tone light and hopeful – though he feels like they both know it's a lie. 'You've had worse. Remember? Nothing can faze you.'

Dean's eyes fall shut and a new wave of crippling panic surges through him. He is a heartbeat away from slapping his brother, so he will look at him again; no matter how void of any emotions the blue eyes are by now. But then Dean blinks – the fire returning for a second before it starts flickering in and out of existence – and searches for his hand, the fingers sliding off his own blood covered skin at the first try. Seth would love nothing more than to hold hands but he doesn't want to risk any more damage. These seconds could decide over life and death and he could never deal with being responsible for the latter.

'Ya– need– t'go,' his friend squeezes out in huffed breaths, using the last bits of air to keep up a charade Seth couldn't care less about right now. His cover is nowhere near as important to him as Dean. So what if people see them together? As long as it saves Dean's life, he doesn't mind. It should have been like this from the very beginning but Set has been so blind, so freaking blind.

'I will not abandon you,' he chides his friend, shaking his head demonstratively, pricking his ears in the hopes of hearing the sirens already. Why is it taking so long for help to arrive? And where is that stupid cashier with the towels?

Speaking of the devil, there he comes running, skidding to a halt before his shoes can get soaked with Dean's blood, throwing the white cloth at his face just in time to keep Seth from yelling at him for taking his sweet time.

'N-no, ya shouldn't s-see it,' Dean squeezes out, coughing violently, his whole body spasming due to the intense pain. Seth ignores the possibly last wish of his brother and love of his life, letting go of the bleeding chest for a quick second to grab the towel and press it on the wound – that won't stop leaking the vital fluid, no matter what Seth does. His only hope is the EMT because he is at the end of his rope.

Despite his desperation and dread rising with each passing second, Seth never takes his hands off his best friend, leaning with all his weight on the bullet hole to stop it from taking Dean away. He doesn't mind his brother spitting out blood, most of it landing on his own clothes. Nothing matters anymore. Saving Dean is the only thing his mind is fixated on. If he fails this task, he's not worthy of going on.

'Don't act like you need to say goodbye. Don't you dare say goodbye to me, asshole,' Seth grunts, a few tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks. Dean smiles tiredly at the sight and tries to lift his arm to wipe them away, but his body won't listen to any orders anymore. His friend is fading fast and there's nothing Seth could do to prevent it.

Roman will hate him so much because he didn't protect their brother like he swore he would. It was the only promise that convinced Rome to let him back into his heart again. The one condition he had to accept his apology.

This just happened because Seth thought it'd be a funny type of revenge. If they had driven straight to the motel none of this would have occurred. But he had to complain about being thirsty and how they needed gas _right now_ instead of tomorrow morning. This is all his fault.

'Don't you dare die on me,' he whispers heartbroken – unable to hide his emotions from Dean –, staring right into the blue eyes that look more vacant with each shaky breath. The sounds his brother produces are horrifying and Seth wishes they would just stop. There is this deep, inhuman gurgling that occasionally gets drowned out by the guttural coughing and the worst is that Dean is still trying to talk, to ease Seth's worries and guide him through this loss.

'Ya g-got this,' Dean stutters, eyes widening in fear because he is unable to breathe anymore. Dean is suffocating right under Seth's fingers and all he can do is watch. There is nothing he can do anymore. His body moves on autopilot and he stares in shock at his hands that finally let go of the still bleeding wound to grab his friend by the shoulders and rest the red stained head on his lap. He wants Dean's last memory to be a loving one.

Seth fights hard to hold back the tears – wishing to be strong for his brother, to show him that he indeed will make it through this, even without Dean – but all his efforts are in vain. His cheeks flare up when fat, hot tears roll down his skin, some of them getting stuck in his beard, others falling on Dean, mingling with the blood on his face.

This can't be it. He just got his brother back and now he's losing him because some morons thought robbing a gas station would be fun? No, he won't tolerate that. He will not accept that he wasted the entire last year, just to end up with a dying Dean in his arms. It can't be their fate to be separated again, this time forever.

'Where's the ambulance?' he roars at the pale cashier and the empty store alike, not once taking his eyes off Dean; too scared that might miss his last exhale.

The boy answers him, but Seth's ears only listen to the ragged breathing and he rests his forehead on his brother's, stealing one last kiss from the still warm lips. Warmth is good. It means there is some life left in his friend. Dean is hanging on with all his might for Seth's sake, because he knows that he is unable to move on, to face reality.

The terrible truth is, he will go to bed alone tonight. And for the rest of eternity. He thought he had everything under control but he doesn't, never did. He will have to live with being responsible for Dean's death and that he couldn't save him. That he wasn't good or smart enough. Never enough.

'D-don' cry, y-ya got t-this.'

These are Dean's final words – spoken only with love and a certainty Seth envies –, whispered into the silence like a promise. Dean summoned up his remaining strength and used his last breath to cheer him up, to take the blame and guilt away, to give him hope. Even in his dying moments, all he could think about was Seth.

He hugs his friend's unmoving body close to his chest, weeping silently, hands creeping to Dean's throat to search for a pulse, a sign of life, _something_. But the ribcage won't move anymore, there's no heartbeat, no air coming out of the slightly parted lips.

Dean is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings for _thoughts of suicide, depressive thoughts_ and I guess you could also say _body harm_. Please stay away if this would impact your own wellbeing 3**

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Roman doesn't raise his voice when they happen to run into each other before RAW goes on air. In fact, his brother won't even utter a single word. Somehow, that's the worst. The silence is what really hurts. He expected shouting, a punch in the face, angry tears but his big brother just stares at him for a while before he turns around and walks away.

He hasn't talked to Seth for the past twenty hours, ever since he texted about the– the _incident_. It was a cowardly way to do it, but he had a hard time telling the police what happened and as soon as the interrogation was over, he had lost his will to communicate.

His friend had immediately tried to call him but Seth wasn't able to pick up, sitting outside the gas station and watching how they drove Dean's body away, his phone ringing constantly. And suddenly it was all quiet. Rome just stopped reaching out to him. Reasonable yet equally traumatic as having to watch Dean getting heaved into a body bag.

Someone in a uniform told him to shower and rest and to come back in the morning to answer some more questions. They probably just wanted to check on him, since he had no real clues for the police anyway. He didn't see any faces or heard any dialog other than the panicked screaming right after the fatal shot. He is absolutely useless.

The hours he lived through afterwards are only a hazy memory; blinding lights, deafening sounds, hushed words. He was in total zombie mode when he walked into the arena earlier today and saw all the sad faces, the red eyes and smeared mascara and he felt the sadness creep into every pore of his body.

The whole building knew already and they all went to Roman to find a place to let go of some of their grief, to mourn the passing of their friend and co-worker together. No one told Seth that they are sorry. Not a single person hugged him or shared a wild adventure they had with Dean.

Seth is completely alone in this because he is not allowed to show his unwavering love, the crippling agony he is going through. After his betrayal, he made it pretty clear that he doesn't care about Dean or Roman. Acting like he does now would only aggravate people. They would think he is an attention seeker and hellbent on staining Dean's memory.

No one is aware he was present when the fatal shot fired but he somehow doubts that even if they would hear about it, they would try to console him too. Maybe ask if he is okay because he saw someone die but they'd come to him for all the wrong reasons.

The police informed Vince and Steph – since Seth didn't know who else they could call to take care of him – and he already got a roasting for flirting with the biggest thorn in their sides, explaining it with _he was the only one I could ride with; we both did not like it. But despite everything, I am glad he was not alone._

Seth couldn't care less if they actually believed the flimsy excuse or not. It is all the same to him. Because now even Roman walked out on him, instead begging Vince to take some indefinite time off to come to terms with everything and organize the funeral – once the police releases the body. Seth wouldn't bet on being invited, let alone welcome.

At least, he is allowed to be part of the commemoration they have on the show tonight. He can't even tell how much it sickens him that Dean's death is part of RAW. Not because this is _his_ boyfriend they want to– well, that is one reason to be against it. But the main thing bugging him is that it makes everything so final and Seth would much rather continue being in denial.

It is kind of unreal when he follows the others to the ring, like he is a ghost walking among the living. While his legs automatically carry him to his destination, he watches so many people cry their eyes out. All the fans are shocked to their very core by the sad news. This is further proof that Dean was able to capture everyone's heart in a certain, unique way. The world lost one of the best humans it ever had to offer.

And Seth was the one who ended that precious existence. Which is why he needs to be the one fixing this. There is no way he will be able to live with this knowledge and the guilt, or without Dean. He is smart, he will think of something. Right?

Once the whole roster in finally in the ring all he is able to hear is wailing in every possible variation. Many women sob heartbreakingly while the men mourn more quietly. He can't even think about the little children who looked up to Dean and everyone who now lost their idol, the light of their life – just like Seth.

In the middle of the ring there is Roman, surrounded by his cousins and the three of them are possibly the ones weeping the loudest. Seth can understand them wholeheartedly, they have been Dean's family through thick and thin.

He just stands awkwardly in a corner, bowing his head because he cannot stand to look anyone in the eye. It is like they know he was the one urging Dean to stop at that gas station and that he was not good enough, not clever enough to save an innocent life. They do not but that is not important. Seth does.

Stephanie addresses the crowd and millions of viewers in the world alike, bidding her farewell and Seth suddenly has to clamp his lips together tightly as nausea threatens to overwhelm him. Out of the blue he got hit by the memory of his eulogy for Dean last year and it disgusts him that he thought it was a big joke, that he ever was _that_ kind of guy.

He needs to go home, find a way to mend what he broke completely apart. Seth doesn't care if it means he has to sell his soul to the devil once more. Anything it takes to get Dean back. But he can't. He is the World Heavyweight Champion and he needs to defend his title.

Though, if Roman is out of the picture for now, Seth can act as if he only accepts his former brother as an opponent, that no one else is worthy and that he will not face another wrestler until Rome is ready to make him pay. And he wouldn't even be lying there. Should they strip him off it, he honestly can't be bothered either. The fans deserve a fighting champion, one who can separate head from heart.

Title or not, Seth wants – _needs_ – Roman to be mad at him, to break his every bone for letting Dean die in a godforsaken gas station, for taking away Jojo's beloved uncle. Someone has to show him he effed up; he cannot go on without punishment.

But Rome won't even breathe the same air as him, turning away every time their gazes meet in the overcrowded ring. Why can't they just break character and grieve the loss of their beloved brother together? No title, no preferential treatment is worth this suffering.

It might seem cruel to the outside world but as soon as the commemoration is over, Seth dashes out of the ring, appearing like he can't stand to share the spotlight with a dead guy he dropped ages ago. The truth is though that he can't be in the squared circle anymore. All the hateful things he screamed at Dean during his _CM Punk phase_ come back to haunt him and he hates himself for ever thinking his own family would only drag him down. He isn't better off without them. In fact, he turned into someone not even Seth himself was ever able to love, let alone accept. And don't even ask him about respecting that jerk.

This _fit_ he had almost cost him everything and he was more than lucky that his brothers found the strength to forgive him. But now he ruined it again and this time he might not be able to ever glue back together what he carelessly shattered into a million pieces.

Roman's silence hurts so freaking much; it makes him breathless and his throat feels impossibly tight, but it is sadly not like he cannot comprehend why this is happening. His big brother will come around eventually because that is just who he is, but there will always be Dean's death standing between them.

That is, if Seth doesn't find a way to bring him back. It is ridiculous and he knows he is clutching at straws but it is also worth a shot. It isn't like he has anything left to lose.

Immediately after RAW, Seth takes a cab to the next hotel and spends the whole night searching in the depths of the internet for a way to save Dean. He doesn't shower, won't eat or sleep, doesn't even allow himself to rest his burning eyes for a single second.

Stephanie calls around noon, jerking him out of his delirious search, wanting to tell him about the Smackdown tapings later tonight, but he brushes her off, saying the words he has practiced in his mind since last night, hanging up after making sure she got every part of his fake outburst about Reigns daring to just leave him hanging after being handed – though he really earned it the hard way – a title shot. As long as Rome is _too busy bawling like a baby_ , Seth will take a vacation.

She will hate him even more for this but for once, Seth doesn't mind. He is so sick of playing that arrogant bastard who ruined everything anyway. They have been looking for an excuse to get rid of him for a while already and now he presented them with the perfect opportunity. If they can convince Vince to let the prodigy son go, they will do so without warning. Thankfully, his job is the least of his priorities now, just like it should have been all this time. But sometimes you have to take a wrong turn in order to find your true path.

Once he is done dealing with his tedious work life, Seth packs his stuff and rushes to the airport, hopping on the next available plane back to Davenport to grab Kevin and retreat to his suddenly too big bed and google some more on his laptop. He has sworn to himself that he would not stop doing this until he found a method to get Dean back.

The internet is full of irritating and moronic stuff and sometimes he catches himself laughing quietly because someone wrote anonymously about trying to resurrect someone by stealing a dead body and replacing all the organs with fresh pig ones. It didn't work, for apparent reasons, but that person was adamant that it was because he couldn't transplant the soul. That it was gone the moment the test subject died and that without it, there was no technique to achieve a complete resurrection.

Well, watch Seth do it. He has no clue how, but he _will_ get Dean back in one piece.

Kevin starts to bark around two in the morning, demanding some food and a pee break, so Seth gets up begrudgingly, the problem at hand never leaving his mind. Maybe he doesn't have to bring his brother back. Perhaps, it should be the other way round, Seth joining Dean in the afterlife. But what would happen to Roman and Kevin then? What would they do without Dean _and_ him? He has already caused so much misery, he would probably end up in hell for his sins and would be separated from his loved ones forever. No matter how slim the chances, with him not believing in heaven, he doesn't want to risk anything.

It is safer to use his brain to find a way to bring a dead person back than committing suicide and hoping for a happy ever after on the other side. Aside from Rome there is only one person he can trust, and that is himself. If it won't work, he can still consider taking his own pathetic life but if it somehow _does_ , if he _can_ prove that miracles are true, he could fix his family and the relationship with his big brother. The only big brother he has left.

'Come on, Kev, we have work to do,' he rambles, just so he doesn't have to listen to his own thoughts anymore. It is bad enough that every time he closes his eyes, he sees Dean – bloody and dead –, lying in his arms since it reminds him over and over that he has lost the most important person in his life because of his own stupidity and brings back all the pain he successfully repressed since it happened.

He is a man on a mission and while he can't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, Seth _can_ discard the grieving process he should go through in order to concentrate on finding a way to put the world back in order.

And he needs to be quick. Dean's body will rot as soon as he gets buried and Seth cannot bring back what is not there anymore. He can sleep when he is dead himself; no one will try to wake him up then.

Kevin yaps happily at his food, growling warningly when Seth wants to sneak upstairs without eating something himself, looking at him with that intense stare that reminds him of Roman. So, against his will – because it's just wasting precious time – he makes himself a sandwich and grabs a bottle of water, sprinting upstairs to go back to work.

His dog follows once his tray is empty, walking up to the bed and standing there all patiently until Seth tears his gaze from the screen and picks him up. 'Sorry buddy, but this is important. We need to save Dean.' Brown puppy eyes mirror the sorrow he is sure is plain open to see in his own ones and he manages to smile at his little companion, ruffling through the short fur lovingly.

'I miss him too but don't worry. I'll find something.' Kevin barks again, happier this time, as if he really gets the meaning but disagrees with his choice of words. 'I know,' he chuckles mirthlessly, ' _we_ will. I will make sure to tell Dean-o you helped once he is back here with us.'

It is quiet after that, aside from the frantic clicking and the occasional groans when he reads another useless blog entry, but at least there is an idea piecing itself together at the back of his mind. It's a long shot and will cost him tons of money, but if it means getting his friend back, he would even give his last drop of blood.

Kevin has long since fallen asleep, his tiny paws resting against Seth's leg, reassuring both of them that the other is still there. His sandwich is lying on a plate on his night table, entirely untouched, but at least he forced himself to down the bottle of water. And since his dog is passed out, no one nags him about eating. Kevin won't understand that he's just not hungry, that without Dean everything has lost its flavor and Seth doesn't want to disappoint his canine friend too.

Time seems to flow and not go by at the same time while the notepad on the pillow next to him slowly gets filled with the weirdest possibilities and calculations. At one point, Seth started to cross-read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and fast forwarded every movie or show with a reference to it, just to get a general idea of the machine he has to build. His electricity bill will most likely kill him but that is okay. If this won't work, he'll never read that letter anyway.

Sending high voltage through a body without destroying it is the only thing that gives back some kind of life and so far, people claim they have almost managed to bring back the dead with this method. The one thing missing was a certain spark – no one was worrying about the lost soul stopping the process, like that pig guy.

Seth is sure, he knows what that spark is and he has it. It might sound cheesy, but he is fairly certain it is called love. If you do not cherish your experiment – for the lack of a better word –, you cannot drag it from darkness into light. Every romantic movie out there shows it and yes, Hollywood lies, but if they all believe that shedding tears on dying loved ones can save them from eternal damnation, then they can't all be wrong.

He knows it is stupid and foolish, but he is either looking at a future without Dean, one behind bars – because someone caught him stealing a body –, or suicide. Neither sounds very tempting, so he might as well give it a try.

He is going to need help though. Seth's gimmick is The Architect, but that doesn't mean he has a single clue how to construct things. Give him the pieces and he can put them together eventually – he has mastered the art of setting up IKEA furniture –, however, he doesn't want to screw up the one device that could easily destroy Dean's body forever.

To be honest, having something to concentrate on is making all this – Dean's absence, Roman's silence – so much easier to deal with. Not giving his body some well needed rest helps too. Seth knows there will come a time when his body will shut down and take what he refused to give it but until then he will bust his butt.

From time to time he gets up to stretch his legs and pee or accompany Kevin into the garden after feeding him, his notepad always with him, in case he has that one brilliant idea that he so desperately needs. The big question is not _will this even work?_ , no, it is _who can help me build this and how do I explain it?_

Maybe he should ask Roman for help. It has been two days since they have last seen each other and so far, he hasn't even gotten a single message. Not that he expected one; it is still disappointing though. So when his phone rings loudly, startling him so much that he lets out a croaky yell, he is way more excited than he should be – only to look at the caller ID and sigh. Not his big brother.

Seth is inclined to just ignore it; on the other hand he doesn't want people to worry about him. He could not deal with someone randomly showing up on his doorstep and seeing him like this. Yesterday, he took off all his mirrors because he couldn't stand his own reflection anymore and he is sure not showering, sleeping or eating doesn't help his case. The only one who understands what he is going through is Rome. And he sure won't swing by anytime soon.

'Rollins,' he grunts into the device, hoping this is a call he can end quickly, because he feels like he is close to finding the perfect solution to his problems. His body is bristling with energy – but that could also be the gazillion of energy drinks he has devoured in the past twenty hours. He is wired up, successfully ignoring Dean's death because he is convinced he won't have to be without him for much longer.

Fixing the problem, that is all he has ever been good for and heaven help him, he will or he'll die trying.

'Mr Rollins, good to hear your voice. We've waited for you at the station and we've been informed that you flew back to Iowa.' Dang, it's the police. He totally forgot that he was supposed to testify once more. But even if he could, Seth really doesn't want to go through that night in every gruesome detail again. If he stops just one second to think about it, he will crumble and he cannot allow to waste even a single second.

The machine has to be ready when the next thunderstorm hits town and according to his weather app he only has one week left. This whole endeavor is insane and practically impossible but it is also the only thing keeping him going. His heart simply beats to be reunited with Dean's; every cell in his body reproduces itself just so he lives on long enough to fulfill his promise. He is dying a million deaths each minute in order to hear Dean's gentle and mocking laugh again, to feel the warm fingers on his skin and know deep down that he has found his true home. It doesn't matter where on earth he is, as long as his brother is with him.

'I am sorry, I couldn't stay there any longer,' he excuses himself, trying to sound confident. 'But I already told you everything I have seen. There is really nothing else, I fear I am of little help for your investigation.' Seth would love to ask if they have made any progress but he is not sure if he is even allowed to. Would they tell Hunter and Stephanie he is way more concerned about Dean than he should?

He can worry about that once he is ready to go back to work. To be frank, he cares more about the dirt under his shoes than the Authority or if they finally discover the truth about the nature of their relationship. Perhaps Dean's passing is the perfect opportunity to leave all that behind and return to his family once more.

The police officer on the other end laughs, but it is hollow and the sound leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Hanging up gets more alluring with each breath. 'Don't trouble yourself, we don't require another testimony. But we do need you here.'

He cannot leave though. Seth only has a couple of days left to build the machine. There is no time to waste with flying through the States. Yet he cannot say no to the police either. Why won't the world just leave him alone?

'For what?' he asks politely, yet warily, angrily scribbling down a reminder to search for the smartest engineer Davenport has to offer, so that person can come up with the blueprints while he is stuck on a freaking plane and Seth can start with the construction once he is back home.

'We need you for a lineup. Good news, Mr Rollins, we hope we found the culprits and you heard one of them talk. There's a high possibility you recognize his voice.'

The clock stops ticking and finally Seth's world starts to make a little more sense again. He has finally heard the words he has been longing for since he left the gas station. They have the person who shot Dean, who took the love of his life away from him.

Without thinking twice about it, Seth grumbles, 'I'm on my way.'


End file.
